How Does She Do It, and...Why?

"How Does She Do It?" My friend Tuni asked me this last Friday for an article she was writing for her column in the Rhode Island Small Business Journal. I admit, I felt a pang of guilt as she asked me how I get things done, because, ironically, she took on writing this "Women In Business" column when I went back to work full time last spring. I had missed her original email somehow, and she was submitting the article that day. I promised to share some thoughts with her.

Then, I jumped into my day with both feet, and had a busy day and an even busier weekend - a 7 hour trip to Maine and back in 2 days. I jotted some notes on the trip, but didn't email Tuni back until Tuesday morning. Here was my long answer to her very short question:

Your question has gotten me thinking over the last few days. I had just hosted dinner for 13 people from work, and was about to lead a 6 hour strategy session before hosting an Arbonne party at night, and leaving the next morning at 8am for a 7 hour trip to Maine on Saturday for a family party, and a 7 hour trip back on Sunday.

I kissed Rich and the kids, unpacked my bags, then fell asleep on the couch at 7:30pm, and woke up to start a hectic week at work, making fresh pumpkin cranberry scones and lunches, and giving the kids the presents I bought them on the trip, before I left for work at 8:15am. I felt lousy all day, but stayed til 5pm. Rich and I had dinner out while the kids were at Girl Scouts/Karate and then had Nick's Parent/Teacher conference at 7:30pm. This time I stayed up late - it was 8:30pm when I crashed on the couch (never made it upstairs).

Today, I'm up early to get "a few things done" before it all starts again:

- read a chapter from "40 Days to Personal Revolution" book and the "Proverbs 31 Wife" book written by a guest blogger I'm trying to connect with at work, for my client, the Military Spouse Foundation,
- jot off an email to a friend to see if she can take him to karate photos on Friday night (coincides with date night!)
- reach out to my mom's cousin to see what buffet selection he wants for his upcoming 70th birthday celebration that we're planning
- promote this Saturday's toy drive for Caritas Smiles (new and gently used) to the PTO group on Facebook
- rally my World Ventures team to get organized for the BMW promotion and Nashville training in January, and watch a WV video
- plan Rich's upcoming Dec. birthday dinner, scheduling around Jessie's Girl Scout field trip and a networking event that day
- forward some thoughts to Jessie's Girl Scout leader about getting volunteers to help with the troop Girl Scout meeting Thursday night, as I'll be out at Fresh Connections, more networking
- ping my contact from the Town Groundwater committee on the school rain garden, trying to set a date to meet with DEM and DOT next week
- reach out to girlfriends about organize a girls weekend this winter, and shift the Grandmother's brunch I was supposed to host 1/27 to another day
- snuggle the cat while responding to work and personal emails from last night that came in after 8:30pm, when I had fallen asleep. :)
- finally get back to Tuni with an answer to her excellent question - how does she do it?

I had jotted some notes on my road trip on HOW I do it, but as I type, I wonder WHY I do it? Yes, I use my time and technology wisely to connect with people and get a ton of things done every day. Yes, I prioritize and delegate and make time for things that are important to me. But, WHY do I take on SO much? My mother, boss and husband tell me I should say no to more things, that I can't do it all well. But I believe I CAN do it all well. And I feel like I DO do it all well.

My only guess at answering the WHY question is that I only do things that I truly WANT to do. I have passion for these things that I take on, and I set goals for myself to achieve. Realistic, challenging-but-doable kind of goals. And, I strive for excellence. I don't want to do anything half-way, I want it done right. If I can't do it myself, I find someone who can.

Plus, I see the vision for how things could be if they would occur. And, once I have the vision, sometimes I can't allow it to not happen. It already exists, even though it is just an idea. It might not happen right away, but it will happen. I may not do it all myself, but I'll find the resources needed to get it done. I may not answer every text immediately, and I may forget to call my girlfriends or mother-in-law for weeks at a time, but for some reason, they forgive me, because they know I'm "busy". And, that I still love them, and they love me, despite my flaws.

Maybe the real question is not: "How Does She Do It?" but, "Why doesn't she do it?" Why don't I watch TV at night? Why don't I read the newspaper? Why don't I respond to every email that comes into my inbox? Why don't I clean my house every day? Why don't I take a lunch break, ever? Why don't I go shopping at the mall or join a book club? Why don't I wear clothes that need to be ironed? Why don't I do things that normal American women do? I am too busy doing things I am passionate about. I do it all because what I do matters to me, and I don't spend my time or energy on things that don't really matter.

Long answer to a short question. Great question though! Thanks for letting me "chew on it" for a while before I got back to you! I may post this meail to my blog. Haven't done that in a while, but I'm starting to see that it matters. :) Hugs!

Note - I sent this to her at 5:50am. I had done all of that and wrote the reflective email, all before 6am. The Army has nothing on me!

So, thank you, Tuni, for inspiring me to pick up the blog again. (And, for "getting me", BTW!) It took me several steps to recover the password, but that didn't stop me. With any luck, nothing will...