How Does She Do It, and...Why?

"How Does She Do It?" My friend Tuni asked me this last Friday for an article she was writing for her column in the Rhode Island Small Business Journal. I admit, I felt a pang of guilt as she asked me how I get things done, because, ironically, she took on writing this "Women In Business" column when I went back to work full time last spring. I had missed her original email somehow, and she was submitting the article that day. I promised to share some thoughts with her.

Then, I jumped into my day with both feet, and had a busy day and an even busier weekend - a 7 hour trip to Maine and back in 2 days. I jotted some notes on the trip, but didn't email Tuni back until Tuesday morning. Here was my long answer to her very short question:

Your question has gotten me thinking over the last few days. I had just hosted dinner for 13 people from work, and was about to lead a 6 hour strategy session before hosting an Arbonne party at night, and leaving the next morning at 8am for a 7 hour trip to Maine on Saturday for a family party, and a 7 hour trip back on Sunday.

I kissed Rich and the kids, unpacked my bags, then fell asleep on the couch at 7:30pm, and woke up to start a hectic week at work, making fresh pumpkin cranberry scones and lunches, and giving the kids the presents I bought them on the trip, before I left for work at 8:15am. I felt lousy all day, but stayed til 5pm. Rich and I had dinner out while the kids were at Girl Scouts/Karate and then had Nick's Parent/Teacher conference at 7:30pm. This time I stayed up late - it was 8:30pm when I crashed on the couch (never made it upstairs).

Today, I'm up early to get "a few things done" before it all starts again:

- read a chapter from "40 Days to Personal Revolution" book and the "Proverbs 31 Wife" book written by a guest blogger I'm trying to connect with at work, for my client, the Military Spouse Foundation,
- jot off an email to a friend to see if she can take him to karate photos on Friday night (coincides with date night!)
- reach out to my mom's cousin to see what buffet selection he wants for his upcoming 70th birthday celebration that we're planning
- promote this Saturday's toy drive for Caritas Smiles (new and gently used) to the PTO group on Facebook
- rally my World Ventures team to get organized for the BMW promotion and Nashville training in January, and watch a WV video
- plan Rich's upcoming Dec. birthday dinner, scheduling around Jessie's Girl Scout field trip and a networking event that day
- forward some thoughts to Jessie's Girl Scout leader about getting volunteers to help with the troop Girl Scout meeting Thursday night, as I'll be out at Fresh Connections, more networking
- ping my contact from the Town Groundwater committee on the school rain garden, trying to set a date to meet with DEM and DOT next week
- reach out to girlfriends about organize a girls weekend this winter, and shift the Grandmother's brunch I was supposed to host 1/27 to another day
- snuggle the cat while responding to work and personal emails from last night that came in after 8:30pm, when I had fallen asleep. :)
- finally get back to Tuni with an answer to her excellent question - how does she do it?

I had jotted some notes on my road trip on HOW I do it, but as I type, I wonder WHY I do it? Yes, I use my time and technology wisely to connect with people and get a ton of things done every day. Yes, I prioritize and delegate and make time for things that are important to me. But, WHY do I take on SO much? My mother, boss and husband tell me I should say no to more things, that I can't do it all well. But I believe I CAN do it all well. And I feel like I DO do it all well.

My only guess at answering the WHY question is that I only do things that I truly WANT to do. I have passion for these things that I take on, and I set goals for myself to achieve. Realistic, challenging-but-doable kind of goals. And, I strive for excellence. I don't want to do anything half-way, I want it done right. If I can't do it myself, I find someone who can.

Plus, I see the vision for how things could be if they would occur. And, once I have the vision, sometimes I can't allow it to not happen. It already exists, even though it is just an idea. It might not happen right away, but it will happen. I may not do it all myself, but I'll find the resources needed to get it done. I may not answer every text immediately, and I may forget to call my girlfriends or mother-in-law for weeks at a time, but for some reason, they forgive me, because they know I'm "busy". And, that I still love them, and they love me, despite my flaws.

Maybe the real question is not: "How Does She Do It?" but, "Why doesn't she do it?" Why don't I watch TV at night? Why don't I read the newspaper? Why don't I respond to every email that comes into my inbox? Why don't I clean my house every day? Why don't I take a lunch break, ever? Why don't I go shopping at the mall or join a book club? Why don't I wear clothes that need to be ironed? Why don't I do things that normal American women do? I am too busy doing things I am passionate about. I do it all because what I do matters to me, and I don't spend my time or energy on things that don't really matter.

Long answer to a short question. Great question though! Thanks for letting me "chew on it" for a while before I got back to you! I may post this meail to my blog. Haven't done that in a while, but I'm starting to see that it matters. :) Hugs!

Note - I sent this to her at 5:50am. I had done all of that and wrote the reflective email, all before 6am. The Army has nothing on me!

So, thank you, Tuni, for inspiring me to pick up the blog again. (And, for "getting me", BTW!) It took me several steps to recover the password, but that didn't stop me. With any luck, nothing will...

Redefining the "board meeting"

On Friday night, I sat at Panera Bread, writing a Sassy blog article about excuses. Not taking them anymore, that is. From myself or anyone else. The premise of the article was that if something is important to you, then just make it happen - no more excuses.

Then, I rediscovered my poor, long lost, abandoned Blogger account. April 30th to January 18th. That is just neglectful in the way of the blogger. I could list the reasons I did not write sooner, but why? Just get on with it and write something interesting. Here goes:

I am officially re-defining the board meeting. To make them less stuffy and formal and more fun. Monthly isn't often enough to get much needed business advice, so I am doing it every week. On Fridays. Friday is my board meeting day.

From now until late spring, my board meetings are going to be "EMERY board meetings", held at the nail salon, at 2pm. (Post your email in the comments field if you're ever in the RI area, and I'll send you the address and phone number.) And, I'm not paying for this out of my personal funds, because it is a business meeting. As I wrote on Friday, if the guys can expense a trip to the freaking Super Bowl, I can expense a pedicure. And a gel coat. Every week.

Since I posted this, I had no less than 5 friends email me, asking to get together for lunch or coffee, to ask me for business advice. I told them all to join me at the board meeting. I know I will be there, and I asked the nail techs last week if they would mind if I brought some friends. They just opened, and are looking for new customers, and so they agreed with smiles on their faces. (Like, who is this crazy red-head anyway?)

My favorite bistro is in the same plaza, so it is very likely, that I will have lunch there, hit the salon, then head back for Happy Hour. And I won't be alone. This accomplishes a few goals for me:

1) Staying focused - I make my own schedule, so it is tempting to look at my free lunches and pencil in friends who are not paying customers, because I like them and want to help. Now, Monday through Thursday, are days I need to stay focused. Friday is for friends.

2) Networking - I like to hang out with people who are motivated, curious, creative, and not afraid to take care of themselves. If you can't say yes to a networking emery board meeting, I don't want to take the time to have lunch with you. BTW, I have asked one of my guy friends to meet me at my hair dresser (more than once), because it was the only free hour and a half I had in a busy schedule. It was in his hometown, and we had a blast.

3) Ask others for advice - I don't know everything or everyone (don't tell my husband), so I like to ask other people what they think, and who they know. This builds regularity in that practice.

4) Pretty nails - hey, it is on my "Bucket List" to have fabulous nails. Why wait?

Now, in the summer, when school is out, I may continue this practice, or shift our Friday afternoons to the beach, for a SURF board meeting. My attorney and I have talked about doing this for 2 summers now - never have. You don't need to surf, either. Just grab a board, and come hang out on the waves and chat. (REAL surfers do not talk to each other at the beach I go to, so this is one way to tell that I'm not a real surfer yet.)

I am completely serious. When I was in the corporate realm, my most effective meetings were at the bar, after work. It's where people bond, let their hair down, get to know each other, more than just niceties. Keith Ferrazi wrote "Never Eat Alone", a great book on networking. I have a signed copy. I may ask him to write a sequel, "Never Get Your Nails Done Alone". Not as catchy, but it's my new mantra.

Fresh Getaways

I have finally found the right "30 second phrase" for this new service, because "high end bachelorette parties" was not doing it. While that is a primary market, it was shutting down the conversation before it began. It takes some testing to get it just right.

Fresh Getaways
Fresh provides all-inclusive weekend getaways for women.

It is that simple. I spoke with hundreds of women at a women's expo last weekend, and I saw the smile on their faces when I spoke that phrase. One woman even said, "I've always thought someone should do that!"

Join the conversation on our new Facebook Fan Page. Tell us your stories on the discussion board, watch for photos and comments!

Day 40 - Objection!

Marketing Objections. I've been trained to handle them. And this weekend, I heard it all.

"I am NOT having a BACHELORETTE party!" This woman looked at me like I was the devil. She said, "I've already asked my friends to spend enough money on the dress and wedding gifts and the shower. I'm not asking them to spend more going OUT. We're having a backyard potluck the weekend before the wedding."

Clearly not my market. "Oh, that sounds good. You really just want to hang out and talk anyway. You don't need to go to a club." She took my brochure and walked off.

Others felt the same way about asking for more expenditures, but liked the idea of spending a Saturday doing something fun together. Their faces lit up when they read the possibilities listed in the brochure. I am reinventing the phrase "bachelorette party" in a delightful way.

One maid of honor was taking the bride to NYC for pole dancing lessons. Others had plans for Block Island getaways. This confirms my weekend getaway concept is attractive, and that they are making these plans all on their own. Fresh will pull it all together, making it easy to say YES.

That is the marketing challenge. Knowing who your target market IS and who it IS NOT. I don't want to try to *sell* a woman who is clearly not interested. I want to spend more time talking to those who "get it", and are eager to get some help making this party decadent. The ones who want to say "YES" to more fun in their lives. :)

Day 39 - Save Beechwood House

Here is an experiment in using the global internet to make change happen locally.

My Search for the perfect property
As you know, I've been researching various properties around the state for a home for my new business. I've been driving by these yellow signs that say "Save Beechwood House!" with a Gmail address. While I agree that Beechwood House (a lovely waterfront Victorian, which until last fall served as the senior center, and just ordered demolished by the town) should not be razed, I didn't know much about what was going on with that property.

Intuition
Something made me pause on Tuesday, and stop by the property to get more info. With no website, and no knowledge of which groups were behind this effort, I went to the new senior center to get some info. The nice lady at the counter was friendly, but not too helpful. "We're not leading that cause, so I guess you'll just have to email them to find out." A nice man gave me a tour of the new facility, which is just beautiful. I joked with him that I can't wait to turn 55, so that I may use it, too.

The Scoop
I emailed the address yesterday morning, and was connected with Dave, who met me at Bagelz for coffee that afternoon. He gave me the scoop on the recent history of the building, the forces trying to save it, and those trying level it. I got the sense that those who supported the new building construction for the senior center just didn't want their ocean view obstructed by this building. Aside from some town resource-draining suggestions (like a museum, youth center or moving the building), there have been no strong proponents for DOING something productive with the site.

My Love
This property played a central part in welcoming my family to North Kingstown when we moved here in June of 2008. I remember dragging the kids around to look at houses on Memorial Day Weekend, and rewarding them with a quick visit to the beach. They immediately met some young friends and were very enthusiastic about the move.

The morning after we moved in, I put on my sneakers early in the morning, and took a walk around my new neighborhood. Destination: Beach Street, one mile from our house! The big oak trees and stone walls reminded me of my childhood home in Cumberland. The ocean front community area reminded me of our beach house in Narragansett. The best of both worlds, it instantly felt like home. I picked up a shell that a seagull left behind, and added it to my collection when I got home. I remember feeling wistful that the Beechwood Senior Center was not for the use of all citizens. But the town elders must have their own space to gather, and lucky them to have such a beautiful spot to enjoy!

In the months since, I have walked almost daily around town, including frequent sunrise visits to the Beechwood House porch rockers. What a completely wonderful way to begin a day that often is chaotic for me, in my life as a work-at-home mother of two.

Of course I'll help!
So from Day One (which was yesterday, ironically) I was "in". I wanted to join the Forces of Good to stop the Forces of Darkness from destroying a cherished town asset. But how? Dave shared with me this link to Preserve RI's Preservation Alert for Beechwood House:
http://www.preserveri.org/files/uploads/Preservation_Alert_-_Beechwood_House_2_25_10.pdf

All this was so helpful in trying to help figure out what our strategy should be. Since we're still working on this part, I won't share all the cool details here, but I'm curious to see if the "Save Beechwood House" keywords will lead people to this site, for more information. It was something I was lacking when I searched.

A Movement
I have been "doing what I do" when I get an idea - vetting it with friends and neighbors. So far, every time I say what I would want to do with the Beechwood House, people's eyes light up. And then, the suggestions start. And I love every one of them, already envisioning the smiles on the citizen's faces as they gather there.

- a cafe, so people could stop, buy food, eat, hang out, read,
- a bookstore,
- a small wedding or conference facility, (similiar to what Narragansett Beach has that generates as much as $180,000in additional revenue for the town),
- music performances on the porch or in the parlor,
- space for youth to gather after school,
- space for moms to gather with their children (and caregivers to provide tired mom's with a much needed break) I hear that one! :)
- space for non-profits and entrepreneurs to meet, get online and have some food
- an Inn, to return the property to its early 20th century use as a stop over for tourists heading to Newport.

Personally, I'd love to see a volleyball tournament, or other lawn sports like bocce ball and croquet. How fun would that be?

My Facebook friends agree. One friend, from Newport wrote:
"I've seen the signs. Didn't realize they built a new senior center in NK. The old home is beautiful...would hate to see it torn down."

Another mom offered her help if I got it going. Another two friends (one from the RIEDC) gave the idea a "thumbs up".

I stopped to chat with some ladies who knit on Thursday afternoons at Bagelz (which is quickly becoming the cultural epicenter of Wickford, BTW). They said "Oh, I overheard someone from the Town say that for so long, no one has taken any interest in the building, but now that it will be razed, we've had 3 or 4 inquiries." Dave said that 4 local churches support the facility's continuation as a youth center. Awesome. It should be easy to get support. So, what's the hold up?

They needed someone to step up with a valid revenue-generating proposal for the use of the property. Something that would not cost the Town money, but rather create some return on the investment it would take to renovate it. They won't sink money into a moth-balled property. I don't want my property taxes to go up either. Makes sense. But who?

Looks like they found their girl. But, I know that it takes a village to save the world. And it will take a local tidal wave of support to share the responsibility and the rewards. If anyone has any interest in doing ANYTHING - painting, planting flowers, light construction, offering workshops that might bring people down, renting the place for a function, WHATEVER... please email SaveBeechwoodHouse@Gmail.com. Or, even better, post a comment here, and let us know what you think. The more people see the tidal wave coming, the better chances we have of success!

Thanks, everyone, in advance. I thank you. Dave and Mike and Ed thank you. The Beechwood House thanks you, too. I see the potential in that place. And, I suspect I'm not alone. :)

Live, Love, Laugh

I have a candle with a decorative metal topper that I bought at Jessie's school fundraiser, which reads: "Live, Love, Laugh". I light that candle when I need a moment of peace. It's rare, but I try to do it once a day. This morning, I sat with a cup of chamomile tea, the cat purring on my lap and I reflected on the candle for a long time - about 20 minutes - before Nick woke up ready for snuggle time. Here's what I thought about:

LIVE - Live like there's no tomorrow. What would you do if you knew with certainty you'd be dead in 24 hours? I may write a short blog post like this one. I most likely would try to cram in my Bucket List of stuff I have always wanted to do with Rich and the kids and my family and friends. I wouldn't worry about balancing my checkbook or cleaning the oven.

LOVE - Love like your heart can't be broken. Unconditional love isn't hard work, but it makes things a whole lot simpler. Just be loving, and your world changes around you.

LAUGH - Someone asked me what I loved to do most. I answered "Laugh." I love to laugh, I enjoy making people laugh. I laugh often. It keeps me sane. Do I laugh too much? No one has ever told me that, so I guess not.

Over my kitchen door, I have a grape leaf design plaque I ordered off of eBay a few years back. It says "Live Well. Love Much. Laugh Often." I decided this will be the central theme of the marketing campaign for Fresh. The vision/slogan is "Good. Clean. Fun.", but the marketing campaign will feature people living well, loving much and laughing often. That is what will draw people to my events, and event planners to join my company.

Note, I said "people". Not "bachelorettes", not even "women". I've been reflecting on this and researching, and I'm declaring a shift. I will build this company to enable anyone in the world to have good clean fun - men, women, children. I think the world needs more of that. We'll see if it is too broad a mission for the market to bear. We'll see...

I hope I am laughing all the way to the bank. ;-)

Day 38 - Fresh's Providence Debut

Last week, I presented at Pecha Kucha in Providence. If you haven't witnessed this phenomenon, you should. People from all walks of life present their ideas or interests in the format of 20 slides, 20 seconds per slide. So you get 6 minutes and 40 seconds to present. The slides move automatically.

I got to present right before Mayor David Cicilline, which was cool. I think the audience liked it. People came up to me the next day, and even over the weekend at the flower show telling me they liked it a lot. Ironically, all three people who commented were guys. What does that say about market readiness? Hmmm....



Here's the Facebook Video Link. Check it out. Let me know how you like it.